I feel like a life sentence who has just commuted the sentence on probation ... a bit 'dazed, confused and suspicious ... not to let anyone look around the corner to make me a sneering smile, urlandomi behind: "It 's all a joke !!!".
Calm and cool. The bars have opened. I have not yet crossed the threshold. I do not trust in hopes that could lock me up the damn door on the nose ... For then my nose will be long and wrong, but I'm fond of ... E 'delicate and an iron bar on him did not deserve it.
I do not need to fool myself. Again. And of course I have no certainties. One small step. I sniff the air. Rest a little 'distance. I learned to keep away from things that hurt me and people alike. Ok, not all. Except one. But I'm working on. Indeed, no. Now I can not. I have to concentrate on probation, although that is not the Freedom and although it is still supervised is better than the mud that I swallowed so far.
Today is one of those days where I would disappear ... because my head is full of thoughts, because I think seriously that something is wrong in me as a person, because I'm afraid I'm alone and faced with things they do not understand, I do not accept and often feel much older than me ... and because I so hard to get involved and feel part of something.
Today is one of those days where I would go to the beach and scream out loud ...
If tomorrow I can steal the car and run away from home really do it ...
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